As Nancy was driving me home yesterday [June 14, 2013], I experienced a tremenduous sense of gratitude. It was like a second wave in that when I sat up in the recovery room with my big eye patch, the first wave of thanks struck me.
I was brought to tears as I allowed myself to think back to the morning the lens in my left eye broke free from the lens sack [with a bang in my ears] and I suddenly realized that I could no longer see out of that eye. Believe me, this is frightening – so much so – that I think I just avoided the reality and began to put my logic circuits into action and focused on fixing the problem. It was still dark outside and I was comfortably sitting in my lounger – having my morning prayer time as usual. I had to wait for daylight and Nancy so I simply rested with my coffee nearby.
We went to our eye doctor [Outlook] in Princeton as soon as they opened and she examined the eye thoroughly and quickly – she is a wonderful doctor in whom we have much confidence. She wasted no words and told us that the situation was very serious and told us that they could do nothing – that I needed to visit a doctor with a highly specialized practice for the worst eye diseases and problems. She offered and made calls for me to see him ASAP and I was able to do that shortly. As Nancy and I spoke riding home last Friday, we acknowledged how a whole lot of puzzle pieces came together – thanks be to God – which led to the 2 speciaists [Drs Prenner and Wheatley] operating on my eye. These two are quite young [as seems to be the usual case now for us] and conveyed a no-nonsense word about my situation and what they proposed to do. While I had the option to do nothing at all, I wanted to seek any likelihood for regaining full vision.
As I sit here typing this, I am seeing at least just as well as I had seen prior to the loss. I consider this truth most deeply and as I said to Nancy, ” I might wish my experience never happen to anyone while part of me would wish it upon everyone.” I probably am as casual as most in taking prime health for granted and healing arts likewise. As we drove home I thought of little except that I wanted to express thanks to God as I had never put forth. You read the Gospel about the healings of Jesus but for me – having had serious eye defects since birth – the most poignant healings were those in which the blind man recieved back his sight. After this eye catastrophy [confirmed by the specialists], I said a whole lot of prayers much like those blind men in Jesus day on earth. “Lord, please restore my sight – I do not deserve anything, but I beg you to restore sight to this man who has lost an eye.”
This is quite long and perhaps tedious reading, but I am compelled to tell everyone that I have had a healing way over the top. I intend to live in more gratitude from now on. I was the beneficiary of the service of some wonderfully gifted [from God] and talented [people who are using their gifts fully] men and women who acted like a bunch of human angels – assisted by some heavenly angels – caring so thoughtfully and caringly for me. Of course the # 1 angel is Nancy who is always everything to me.
So here it is Fathers’ Day and I have every reason to celebrate, as you can well imagine. Now, I will share a bit about the process of the surgery last Friday. This may be dry or too much to read – for sure.
Nancy & I drove to RWJ in New Brunswick at 5am for a 6:15 appointment. I was quickly stripped and bedded down and punctured in preparation and covered by a wonderful nurse who then covered me with a heated blanket – the Hyatt could not have been better. I went to the surgery at 7:30 and their work was complete by 8:30. Dr Prenner and the anesthesiologist talked me through everything – along with my nurse – and told me to ask them anything. They put me out a couple minutes to place some kind of needle in the eye and all of a sudden, I was awake and clear headed throughout the operation and while I saw nothing [good eye covered] I could hear clearly. Drs Prenner and Wheatley coorborated peacefully and clearly each step of the procedure. I was so thankful I was awake – which I had not wanted to be. They had explained their preference to have me as potentially cooperative if desired. I could see the instruments being used in my eye as the surgery progressed. I was sat up upon completion and conversed with them as if were the next day.
Enough. I was in the recovery room after a short ride and being offered some great coffee [Kuerig] and cookies. After two cups of coffee, I dressed and got into a wheelchair while Nancy brought the car around. Easy trip home followed by a couple days of rest, good sleep and Nurse Nancy – just can’t ask for more than that.
It has become “unpopular” in many circles to include God in our thoughts and conversation. Believe me, if you ever lose your sight, the chances of inviting God into the situation are excellent. We live in a cruel world – full of sickness, injury and hurts. We all question how bad things happen so often – to so many good people. It is rare that we give a thought to life with “free will” or life as without freedom. We fight for freedom but want a God who limits it under certain circumstances. At the beginning, man demanded unlimited free will in order to do right and wrong as he sees fit and we have all followed likewise. The consequences of my free will to do right can be fantastically life giving but I don’t like to face the consequences of my freedom to do wrong. All my wrongs hurt others – there is no such thing as private sin. Most sins hurt people but in truth they even hurt our world of nature. I have sinned again and again but when I say “I’m sorry” I help God restore the bad results of my failures. Many of you have prayed for me during my knee surgery and some during my eye surgery. I pray that God blesses you for blessing me so kindly!